Arguments are as natural to couples as kissing. No love can grow without it being subjected to tests that measure just how strong it can be. You and your partner, too, should not be afraid of having a few spats, every now and then. You do, however, need to be careful so that your arguments don’t blow up into a potential breakup reason.
To do that, you have to be careful never to get into a screaming match. Shouting makes the issue of your disagreement doubly worse – and, it has the tendency to eliminate logic in the conversation, making mountains out of what-could-have-been-too-easy-to-disintegrate molehills. These tips below may help you in keeping your arguments within reasonable boundaries.
Do Not Use Degrading Language
Saying nasty things is always one of the worst things that you can do, when you’re arguing with somebody. At times, you’ll realize afterwards that you didn’t mean most of these anyway, but the damage has already been done. In relationships, it’s one of the deadliest. It relays the impression that you don’t respect each other, and that could undo even the best of relationships. To keep the fight civil, stick to the general facts of the issue.
Keep the Argument Logical
Don’t stoop down to blaming each other; it won’t resolve anything. Instead, be fair and discuss what should be done with the specific problem that you guys are having. A cool head is necessary in finding the solution to any situation. In addition, it would help with the ease with which you two can make up, after the fight. Keep being level-headed and always assume the logic of an average reasonable person.
Do Not Use Force
The use of force in any fight is a guaranteed recipe for loud, verbalized chaos. No argument is ever big enough to warrant you hitting your lover, or you being hit by him or her. It also makes people feel unsafe, which is never healthy in a relationship. Keep your cool, and don’t act out in anger. When you do, a shouting match is the least of what you guys will get into.
Do Not Rehash Past Arguments
It’s also important that couples talk about the present issue that they have, and not branch out into old arguments. Staying in the present makes way for a clearer argument resolution, and it also ensures a more peaceful future for the two of you.
Lastly, as you do all of these remember to allow each other to speak. Monopolizing the conversation is not going to get you anywhere. A fight will never reach its end if both parties have not had the chance to air out their side. Give each other time to justify or explain, and don’t interrupt one another. In this way, you can arrive at a point of agreement that would help wrap up the argument.